block party~

Some of you heard me talk about the the block party in the neighborhood I live in. It was such a beautiful day and such a clear picture of what neighborhood ministry looks like. Click here ->Whittier Block Party to see footage from that day!! :)

Who is at your table?

oversized sweatshirt.
chicken veggie soup.
honeycrisp + smoked Gouda
andy davis

weekend reflections.
beautiful neighborhood.
smiles.
protecting.
firm handshakes.
stories.
from the heart.
bouncing kids.
homemade food.
family.
the Lord's Table.

Who's at your table?

 1 Kings chapter 17 is a beautiful picture of what we're called to do. The relationship our Lord and Saviour wants us to have with others. To give freely and love deeply. To meet each others needs. Elijah started by creating a relationship with God, trusting the Lord and following him. The Lord sent Elijah to the Widow to take care of him, who had virtually nothing, but she also trusted in the Lord and the Lord provided. ~ soon after the widow's son became very ill and Elijah carried the boy to the upper room (does anyone else get a great visual of what this looked like) and cried out to the Lord asking the Lord to heal this boy.~ and the boy was healed. Isn't this what relationships are supposed to look like? Showing compassion, trusting the Lord, going where he leads you, putting others before yourself, meeting each others needs...  as I sit here and reflect on this amazing story I also reflect on the relationships in my life~ who is sitting around my table and whether I'm trusting the Lord to lead each one of those relationships. I challenge you to do the same.

it's official.

i had an interview today. it's for a position in a domestic violence shelter, working with the youth and their mothers. i'm super excited about the position. the interview went really well. i was happy with all my responses to the questions that were asked. i then asked at the end, "how many individuals do you have interviewing for this position?"-- and i then hear, "we had 80 apply, and we are holding interviews with 40 of the applicants." and then this is what went through my head, "WHOA BABY! I'M ONE OF 40! $#$*&^&!!

So here I am. confident with my interview. sort of. but frustrated. they tell me it's going to take 1 to 2 more weeks to figure out 2nd round interviews.

all day i kept saying to myself, "not my will be done Lord, but yours"... and for the longest time, i just kept asking God for an interview. so i got one, and now it's not like it's good enough. i keep wanting more and i'm mad at myself for thinking this way. so very mad. i'm mad that i'm sitting here right now and i don't have a job, and tomorrow i don't have to go to a job. for the very first time IN MONTHS, i'm questioning whether or not i'm supposed to be here. AND IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE INTERVIEW! ~

let me lay this out for all of you some more... in case you didn't quite get it... i asked God for just an interview. i got the interview. (this is the time i'm supposed to be lifted up and feel like there's hope)... and yet, right now i'm questioning more than ever whether i'm supposed to be here. and overall, i'm mad at myself for not being grateful for what he's given me. i've spent so long trying to avoid these feelings... and here they are. ugh.

dear heavenly father, you know my heart better than i do. i'm thankful for the opportunity you gave me today. i'm unsure if this is where you want me, but nevertheless, you wanted me to learn... and perhaps this was practice for something else.. i'm unsure. please know that i'm trying to be patient. i trust that you have a plan. you always do. never have you failed me. i need to work on showing you that i trust you. calm this wild heart of mine. give me direction. i want to do your will. your will be done father. not mine. father i need a sign. i need something. should i search other places? i'm willing to pick up everything and move tomorrow. i will for you father. ~ i pray this in your holy and perfect name. amen.

                                                                                              ~this is how i feel today~

1 Samuel 16:7

"The Lord does not see as a man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."- 1 Samuel 16:7

alright, i'm going to be honest, there's no sense in lying~ i read this verse and felt a HUGE wake up call. so often i get so wrapped up in what others are thinking, when, HELLO CHRISTY... it's you're heavenly father that knows and matters. i even SOMETIMES have wondered if others can see the changes that i've made in my life. do others see that i love God? do my old friends see that i'm a different person? can my family see that God is important to me? -- but does it really matter? if the Lord can see my heart, why do i find myself trying to show all these other people or somehow prove myself to all of these other people?

but wait...it doesn't stop there... when I DO SCREW UP... there have been times... that i've immediately wondered if OTHER PEOPLE have noticed... and who, WITHOUT A DOUBT should be who i immediately turn to and confess? ~ the One that knows my heart, my heavenly Father.... so why do i sometimes get caught up in this impress my friends and people around me game?... when, they don't know one way or another... but my GOD knows every little thing on my heart... he knows every fault and every weakness... our sin grieves His heart.. God desires for us to be honest with him and confess it all...and lets be honest with ourselves, if we can't be honest with the ONE who forgives all our sins and loves unconditionally, who can we be honest with?

Have mercy on me, O God, 
because of your unfailing love. 
Because of your great compassion, 
blot out the stain of my sins. 
Wash me clean from my guilt. 
Purifty me from my sin.
For I recognize my rebellion; 
it haunts me day and night. 
Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say, 
and your judgement against me is just. ~ Psalm 51:1-6 (Although I do suggest reading the entire psalm)

wYoMiNg! GrAdUaTiOn! NeW aPaRtMeNt! OH MY!

  Hi Friends.
I'm going to try to blog dos times today. this first one I want to tell you... in short about everything that has been going on in my life. and to make sure it's short, i'm going to do it list format.

1. I finished my senior social work practicum. it was bittersweet. a.) i'm done b.) i'm going to miss the kiddos and the friends i made.

2. I GRADUATED!
3. The next day i left for Wyoming. - I've never been... and have always wanted to head out west... the opportunity arrose... and i'm certain It was a "God thing"- I've been so overwhelmed with figuring out what's next...that I needed a week away in the mountains.
4. I'm living in St. Paul with some super cool girls. I just love them and we just have the best time together.
Lins is all about missions and just as bubbly as me if you can imagine that... and we're doing THIS DAILY DEVOTIONAL together. Missions have been so very heavy on my heart and I've been so all over the place about what exactly to do with the emotion... so here i am... and telling God that I'll go where he wants me to.... just point me in the direction- and as for Carrie my other roommate... she's just an absolute gem. she has an internship at one of the large theaters downtown Minneapolis...lets just say, it's working out nicely in my favor. aside from that, she has a very laid back personality that's a joy to have...
5. I've committed to living in this apartment over the summer... with the idea that if i don't have a job by the end of the summer, then I will move back home and head a different direction. I thought that Minneapolis is where God wanted me for awhile, but he may not... and in that case, I will go wherever... So in short, i'm JOB HUNTING! ~ if anyone knows anyone or anything in the twin city area, throw some ideas this way.
6. I've been praying A LOT about THE WORLD RACE. I'm thinking after a year I would be more ready... and so therefore... I'm unsure... and so if you wouldn't mind... I'd love for you to pray for me.
7. God is sooo sooo good. I feel so blessed to be where i am and can't to see where he leads me.

a favorite.

There are some obvious benefits of working in an Elementary School... and not only that, but working to increase literacy-- Allow me to highlight just one today... I get to read books... little kiddo books with lots of pictures...and I hang out in a library... with lots of little kiddo books. AND MY FAVORITE... is Steven Kellogg. It doesn't matter if he wrote and illustrated the book... or if he just illustrated it... They are absolutely delightful and SO FUNNY! The pictures are busy... and hysterical... and my kids know... MAJOR POINTS if they pick out a Kellogg book. - I'm just going to have to own every single one when I have kiddos of my own. :)

the call.

It's the silent call, in the midst of all my dreams, that seems to speak to the longing in my heart...

Lord you call in the silence... and you call in the night... with your gentle touch, you call me back to life...

Master... let me follow.

~pulled from "the Call" by Carol Meier